Will you sleep tonight?

I've given a lot of thought

to the nights we used to have

the days have come and gone

our lives went by so fast.

I wonder if I can indent. Guess not. Anyway. Life..

Justin..went nowhere. Now hes dating married girl. Because hes a fucking idiot. And a deuchbag. Men. I guess I learned again though! Just when I was starting to think they arent ALL bad, he was a nice fresh reminder of why I dont get involved. Him and Mike. Thanks guys.

Michelle's..like..I dont know. I'm thankful that I still have her through everything. Even though it's limited time..Its good time. I missed having her to roll off of. We're a unique couple of gals. I N-Joy it. Its..christmas eve. I turn 18 in three months.

I feel..detached. Like Im watching myself from the outside.

propped up by lies and promises..

I...am really friggin cold. I..decided this was the best place go..express my..inner..dilemma. As is always the case.
The disclaimer..The fact that i only post one blog per month at max would tend to make me appear rather boy crazy..or..slutty in fact, but i promise this has not always been the case. The last post just so happened to include the first..guy. Kindof earmarked the re-entry of man-related issues into my life. Ive been avoiding men and relationships and shit like that all together for so long that its weird now that I have..to..even think about..shit..like..that. Im used to it being cut and dry or not there and I'm just straight up uncomfortable with the thought of having a crush on a guy. Especially when it is clearly not going to work. Too many circumstances. I dont know. I like him though. I mean im not sure to what..degree like him, but I do, and he..appears to like me but in all liklihood thats his crack at getting me to..get him laid. But I hope not. So much its sickening. I got all smiles and shit when he called me today. I'm not 12 anymore. God. I just dont know. It cant work, let it go.

I just cant help it.