drowning.

I..had such an incredible weekend. Saturday was..just..perfect. I got to hang out with Michelle, and Dan..We went to Jon's apartment. Fel and Jon's boy were there..Then Michelle went home, but Ceci showed up..Then her friend, who might have been James. It was just..nice. Being surrounded by friends. Friends. Thus far..None of them have done..anything horrible to me. I forgot what that felt like. Around 11:30, Julie picked me up. We went to Worm town with Mike and Sarah, drove around looking for something to do, gave up and went back to Julies after dropping off Sarah and Mike. Then we drank, all night. Natural high combined with drunkenness..It was beautiful. We had fun..I hope she had fun too..Just, a good time. Now..I just..feel like Im crashing. I forgot what it felt like to just be that happy, that content. Even before we were drinking, I was just high as hell, drug-free. Now...it's like coming down. From anything. Except amplified by a billion. Im just so sad. I..dont think Ive been this down since I started my job. I dont know how I handled feeling like this all the time last year. I just..want to lay down and die. I need a distraction...